Diamond Creek Bowling Club - Jokes
The Bowling Trip
A Bowler called home to his wife and
said, "Honey, I have been asked to go bowling up on the Murray with
my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is
a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting so
could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my
whites and bowling gear? We're leaving from the office & I will
swing by the house to pick my things up."
"Oh! And please pack my new blue silk pyjamas."
The wife thinks this sounds a bit suspicious but being the good wife
she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise
looking good.
The wife welcomed him home and asked how did the bowling go?
He said, "Great! We bowled every day. Singles, pairs, triples, you
name it. Lots of practice for the pennant season. But why didn't you
pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to do?"
The wife replied, "I did. They're in your bowling bag....."
Talking
Dog
A bloke sees
a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the
bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.
The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Sure do." the dog replies. "So, what's your story?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift for talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders. Because no one figured a dog would be eaves-dropping…..I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running." "The jetting around really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in." "I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals…..had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired and have taken up lawn bowling."
The man is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says, "Ten dollars." The bloke says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Cause he's a liar. He's never done any of that stuff, especially the lawn bowling"
